Rant 2 - The Spelling Bee in my Bonnet

Well, strictly speaking it's more of a homonym gripe than a spelling gripe but I like the title so I'm going with it. Alright, I'm going to regret this I know, but I have to get this out.

First off let me just say that I am a pedantic bastard when it comes to grammar and spelling. Pedantic and anal. I admit it, and that's the first step you know. So having said that perhaps you can understand why it drives me mental when I continuously see the same words being misused over and over again.

I'm not talking about typos or the occasional mistake here and there - I'm certainly no roaring hell when it comes to typing, and I'm sure you will find loads of typos on this very site. I'm talking about people who repeatedly use the wrong word in the wrong place.

Let's take the words "loose" and "lose" for starters, and yes I know they're not homonyms because they sound different. And you'd think that would be enough to clue people in right there, yet I see this one so often I actually went and looked it up to make sure they hadn't changed the rules on me. You don't LOOSE your keys, unless of course you just flung them at someone with the intent of doing them damage in which case it could be said that you "let loose your keys with a vengence". Generally speaking however, if you misplace your keys or they fall out of your pocket never to be seen again then you LOSE your keys. A screw can be LOOSE but if it drops off and sinks to the bottom of the Marianas Trench (hey, it could happen) then chances are you will LOSE it. Follow me?

Here's another popular one that some people just can't seem to grasp. "There", "their", and "they're". THERE means somewhere other than here. It is over THERE. It refers to a place or a point in the physical three dimensional world we live in. Or in the non-physical world for that matter, as in "you've got a point THERE". It does not specifically refer to a group of people or objects nor does it imply any ownership of any people or objects. It can refer to a place that a group of people or objects are occupying as in "THERE they are", or "THERE it is". THEY'RE is a contraction of THEY ARE. THEY'RE over THERE. THEIR means something or someone belonging to THEM. It is THEIR house. THEY'RE over THERE in THEIR house. Got it?

Come on people, this is Sesame Street stuff. What's the point of having a nice fancy looking website if you can't communicate properly?!? I would've made a great Victorian headmaster, wouldn't I?

And finally we come to "your" and "you're". YOUR means it belongs to you. YOU'RE is a contraction of YOU ARE. YOU'RE the captain of YOUR boat. And thus endeth the english lesson for today. Any questions? There'll be a test on this later so I do hope you were all paying attention. Man, I feel much better. Who would've thought a simple website could be so cathartic? Next week I'll do "Drivers who don't use turn signals". Stay tuned.

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